i know how hard it is living in this kind of environment. pressured. very... pressured. i hope you will be okay, if not now it will be one day. don't give up. try your best. your very best of the best that you got -- try that. it might be work. who knows.
im so sad that you have to deal with this kind of environment while everyone is enjoying this environment happily like the fairy tale in the book. i cant do nothing since im also trying my best to bear with it with all the energy i have.
i hope.. one day.. she will know that this is not the right thing. :(