i spoke
to your back
so that your ears
would not 
hear me.

i told you
how much 
you meant
to me,
how important
you are.

i told you
how much it
would hurt me
if you were
how painful it
will be when you
how much joy it
will bring me when
you stay.

i told you
about every dream
i’ve had about you
and how they all

with your head
resting on 
my shoulder,

as if we were sitting
on a hill, gazing
off into some grand


maybe it’s for the best
that you couldn’t hear me.

it almost scares me
how in love with you
i am, and how far
i’ve fallen, how i’m
still falling,

i spoke as if
not expecting 
a response,

you were asleep.

and although i spoke
without intending for
you to hear, i hope
just enough slipped
through so that i may
paint the walls of your
dreams with these words.

although i spoke 
without intending for
you to hear,

i kind of hope you heard me anyway.